Once upon last week I decided to go to a Shift The Power Conference.
It was interesting to say the least. The conference itself wasn't that enriching. In fact I could hardly call it a conference, more like a large meeting. I thought it to be slightly dull. However, I could probably attribute that mostly to the fact that my group and I were tardy and I didn't make it to the panel/workshops that were actually interesting... J and I listened to a panel on hip-hop and the environment. I quote their keynote speaker:
"We was hyphee like 10 years ago...I was the 22nd best tennis player in the bay area (clapping)..then I got shot...Music is positive to real life...thank y'all"
Their was some message in there that I didn't get; I found myself being critical a lot of the panels I went to. I am critical of unorganized activism, un-channelled aggression. But, I enjoyed the state wide meetings that we had for a whopping five minutes, There we discussed issues about Washington state. I love Washingtonians. The small group is what did it. There wasn't a inexperienced public speaker screaming at the crowd: "you are the future! get out there, youth, and change the world!!!".
While taking notes and observing the old revolution hungry yuppies I wrote: "how many times can they tell us that we are the 'future.'
I rode the bus home from downtown the other day and stared at a lady with an unusually large forehead.
Things I learned/pondered (while on the bus):
-what is living for?
-we are the environment (the future?. change yourself first of all, to a life of balance, and then you will incidentally, affect the environment more positively. Am I mistaken?)
I have been feeling quite uneasy about what is to come in my near future. Am I making the right choices?
or am I merely just making decisions for my future based on blind feelings that are shadowing my every move?
Nonetheless, I am not going to act upon these feelings, I will see where they take me. Who knows, Maybe making unexplainable decisions will do me good in the long run. Uncertainty appeals to me, Is it such a bad thing?
I have updated my Itunes this past week and I have been fully amused by it since.
Song lyric I am currently hearing, and transcribing:
"Like a fool I am willing to take that fall again and don't let me fall too fast. I wanna fall slowly, I want my fall to last, I want my fall to last." --The Wood Brothers.
Have you ever just cruised?
Cruisin' is a new lifestyle that I was explained to me yesterday. Life is just crusin'. Cruse life, that's a doctrine. It is hard to explain...
Yesterday, I also learned that numbers were originally derived from the number of angles that compose them. Think about 1, the european way of making a one looks like a droopy 7. One angle. Think about 8, but more boxy, eight angles. 4 is easy, a triangle and a line.
Am I boring you? Sorry.
College just seems so utterly alluring. Everyone appears to be so damn cool, and it kills me. People will make literary references during regular conversation (I assume) and people will get it (I assume). Excuse me...I actually may be wrong on the 'cool' part because well, I frankly don't know how cool you all think that is..
Anywho. My goal, to be achieved sometime in the next 2 years: Have a professor, teacher, president.. write the word "brilliant" on something, anything I do. I also want to find someones bookshelf that I have read every single book on.
Something to think about:
instead of saying but, say and.
I'm searching for a new hobby with a new person, any person really. I'm feeling nervy.
I pose a question about neckne: is it the scarves?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
PASA
ANXIETY
anxiety |a ng ˈzī-itē|
noun ( pl. -ties)
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
ADD
ADD or ADHD)
noun
any of a range of behavioral disorders occurring primarily in children, including such symptoms as poor concentration, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Overwhelm |ˌōvərˈ(h)welm|
verb [ trans. ]
bury or drown beneath a huge mass
anxiety |a ng ˈzī-itē|
noun ( pl. -ties)
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
ADD
ADD or ADHD)
noun
any of a range of behavioral disorders occurring primarily in children, including such symptoms as poor concentration, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Overwhelm |ˌōvərˈ(h)welm|
verb [ trans. ]
bury or drown beneath a huge mass
I need some inner peace ASAP
BIKE RIDES RULE
I have also been searching for a new bike since mine was stolen so rudely this summer..
Anyone? I have been craving a bike ride downtown, but no can do:/
Anyone wanna go searching for a cheap one with me?
Alert me if you want to accompany me
My life as I can blog it now
My life at this moment:
-I am applying for jobs, part time, at Patagonia and at the Pratt Center of the Arts. I need me some PHAT money.
-I have looked up yoga classes at the Olympic Athletic Club, which will contribute to a inner balance, of mind, body and spandex.
-Dusty Strings is another place to check out! Learning the mandolin is on my list of things to do, but I will consider the banjo (learning from this guy*), and if I must, guitar. If B and I are going to start our banjo rap group, one of us has to be savy in some sort of twang...
-I don't know about this WWOOFING thing, but if I do find the time, I plan to go to Quebec. Yes, I know it is cold, but there is much to do, like with this exciting family and farm:
QC22B
If the following appeals to you...Growing your own food naturally.Harvesting, preparing & preserving food. Grafting fruit trees. Haying, fencing & taking care of cattle. Building ponds to conserve water. Developing free heating sources from water. Designing & constructing buildings. Cutting trees into firewood, logs into lumber, & lumber into buildings. Flying in small airplanes & learning how to maintain them. Combining high tech & low tech. Square & contra dancing. Thinking....then consider wwoofing at our place
-There is no place like Seattle anywhere in the world. "It is a rock, it is an island."
- What I am doing in the Summer? I find myself creating a massive amount of plans that include multiple continents..
-Moab
-College! The who, what, where and the obvious why..
The other day I used public transportation to get home from downtown and might I say it was angry. There was a man shouting " FUCK NO! that is a horrible idea! Fuck that, FUCCCK" and some other shizz... Along with him, a group of kids, not to much older than me, sat in the back of the bus. They bickered unintelligibly and obnoxiously for a while, until about 5 minutes into the ride when one guy began to orate loudly and clearly. He voiced his opinions on the ungracious world: "If a old woman needed help across the street, would you give her help? I don't think so. Nobody would. But if that old woman offered you 20 dollars, you would help her immediately, no? Everybody doesn't care about that old woman, not without her money. That's not what the world is supposed to be like, but it is that way." Who was this guy to say the world is suppose to be anything? That was the only thought that came to mind, while I eavesdropped.
I NEED A JOB due to the fact that I am poor:
After a day of job searching, I found out that a job at Patagonia may be a bust and that Pratt does not offer paying jobs. Bummer. Food service jobs may be what I should look for. However, I avoided making a resume all day, getting only the easy stuff down on paper. In the mean time, I practiced shooting ping-pong balls into a plastic cup.
-I am applying for jobs, part time, at Patagonia and at the Pratt Center of the Arts. I need me some PHAT money.
-I have looked up yoga classes at the Olympic Athletic Club, which will contribute to a inner balance, of mind, body and spandex.
-Dusty Strings is another place to check out! Learning the mandolin is on my list of things to do, but I will consider the banjo (learning from this guy*), and if I must, guitar. If B and I are going to start our banjo rap group, one of us has to be savy in some sort of twang...
-I don't know about this WWOOFING thing, but if I do find the time, I plan to go to Quebec. Yes, I know it is cold, but there is much to do, like with this exciting family and farm:
QC22B
If the following appeals to you...Growing your own food naturally.Harvesting, preparing & preserving food. Grafting fruit trees. Haying, fencing & taking care of cattle. Building ponds to conserve water. Developing free heating sources from water. Designing & constructing buildings. Cutting trees into firewood, logs into lumber, & lumber into buildings. Flying in small airplanes & learning how to maintain them. Combining high tech & low tech. Square & contra dancing. Thinking....then consider wwoofing at our place
:Caroline and I have a lot of conversations about the crazy world. We are not taking pychadelics, but we keep having those 'the-world-is-just-so-big-MAN' type of conversations. It's massive, like the vermin The Bride seeks in Kill Bill.
Other conversation topics with random people include:
-There is no place like Seattle anywhere in the world. "It is a rock, it is an island."
- What I am doing in the Summer? I find myself creating a massive amount of plans that include multiple continents..
-Moab
-College! The who, what, where and the obvious why..
The other day I used public transportation to get home from downtown and might I say it was angry. There was a man shouting " FUCK NO! that is a horrible idea! Fuck that, FUCCCK" and some other shizz... Along with him, a group of kids, not to much older than me, sat in the back of the bus. They bickered unintelligibly and obnoxiously for a while, until about 5 minutes into the ride when one guy began to orate loudly and clearly. He voiced his opinions on the ungracious world: "If a old woman needed help across the street, would you give her help? I don't think so. Nobody would. But if that old woman offered you 20 dollars, you would help her immediately, no? Everybody doesn't care about that old woman, not without her money. That's not what the world is supposed to be like, but it is that way." Who was this guy to say the world is suppose to be anything? That was the only thought that came to mind, while I eavesdropped.
I NEED A JOB due to the fact that I am poor:
After a day of job searching, I found out that a job at Patagonia may be a bust and that Pratt does not offer paying jobs. Bummer. Food service jobs may be what I should look for. However, I avoided making a resume all day, getting only the easy stuff down on paper. In the mean time, I practiced shooting ping-pong balls into a plastic cup.
Adventure:
Waterway 15 is a hidden gem of Seattle and conveniently located right next to the Salmon house. I strolled down there after lunch with B to check out the intricate brick pathways, photos and words cemented into this path that leads to Lake Union. Here are two stories, etched into the pathway:
The first people used to be here. They fished here. They hallowed this earth. This water was life giving to them. "The Littlest Lake People." They drank it. They cleansed themselves here.
Young whales were believed to make their way into the lake, through a subterranean passage from Elliot Bay.
I wondered why the artist included this story. I daydreamed the lake with lots of evergreen trees and little lake people (Latonas) watching breaching whales. Where there ever whales?
Waterway 15 is a hidden gem of Seattle and conveniently located right next to the Salmon house. I strolled down there after lunch with B to check out the intricate brick pathways, photos and words cemented into this path that leads to Lake Union. Here are two stories, etched into the pathway:
The first people used to be here. They fished here. They hallowed this earth. This water was life giving to them. "The Littlest Lake People." They drank it. They cleansed themselves here.
Young whales were believed to make their way into the lake, through a subterranean passage from Elliot Bay.
I wondered why the artist included this story. I daydreamed the lake with lots of evergreen trees and little lake people (Latonas) watching breaching whales. Where there ever whales?
My indecisiveness is presenting more and more problems as the year progresses, to the point were my fall could go in any direction. This is a plan, I thought to be solid, on the brink of explosion.
Let's avoid catastrophe, and just do what feels right.
In the past two weeks, I have enjoyed 20 episodes of Seinfeld.
While at a conversational spanish meeting, which was actually really difficult. Speaking seemed very foreign but the experience was none the less enjoyable. Anyway, I met a 83 year old couple that the second Erin J and I spoke to them started up a conversation about our futures. They quizzed us on our college plans and what our values include. The man than gave us this advice:
Let's avoid catastrophe, and just do what feels right.
In the past two weeks, I have enjoyed 20 episodes of Seinfeld.
While at a conversational spanish meeting, which was actually really difficult. Speaking seemed very foreign but the experience was none the less enjoyable. Anyway, I met a 83 year old couple that the second Erin J and I spoke to them started up a conversation about our futures. They quizzed us on our college plans and what our values include. The man than gave us this advice:
"Don't grow up too fast; don't act like your 24 when your only 18."
I took that well.
The husband asked me how I would measure darkness and I responded "physical or emotional darkness?" He liked the distinction that I'd made, but that wasn't the answer. We chatted for a while and the husband ended the conversation by saying that darkness is the absence of light. You can measure light, but not darkness.
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